The Break Up
by SiriusBlackFan2
Summary: The end of Joe and Steph romantic relationship, told from Joe's perspective.  Babe fic.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I've been reading a few Stephanie Plum stories of late and decided to try my hand at it. This story started as a one shot but started to get long, so I decided to make it a short instead. _

_**Disclaimer: The characters of this story are the intellectual property of Janet Evanovich. I do not own them and make nothing for my efforts.**_

**The Break-up**

I sat with my legs propped up on the coffee table, a beer clutched in my right hand and the remote in my left. An Islander's game was playing on the television but I wasn't really watching it. I was consumed with thoughts of her and what brought me to sitting on this couch…alone.

I took a long pull on my beer that had long ago gone warm. My dog, Bob, nuzzled my other hand and whimpered. He had been our dog but now he was mine, just mine.

Scratching behind his ears I whispered, "She isn't coming back this time boy."

I had known her all my life or so it seemed. She's always liked trouble and I was one of those "Morelli boys" and she just couldn't resist my charm.

When she was six I convinced her to play "choo-choo" with me in my Dad's garage. She wasn't pleased when she found out she was only going to be the tunnel!

She was just sixteen when I stole her virginity on the floor of the Tasty Pastry. It was not one of my shining moments but I was young and arrogant and didn't think about the pain I caused her. Instead I penned a poem about it on the restroom wall at Mario's and left for the Navy the next day.

When I returned a few years later she returned the pain to me in spades…she ran me down with a Buick! I remember lying on the cold concrete watching her taillights disappear around the corner. She broke my leg in two places and on cold winter nights it still ached.

We hooked up years later when she tracked me down when I skipped out on my bond. I was a police officer falsely accused of murder. As a detective with the Trenton PD there was no way in hell I'd survive in jail. She helped me until I pissed her off and she locked me in a freezer truck, along with two dead bodies and drove me too jail.

She didn't stop there. She took it upon her self to prove my innocence and at great personal expense to herself. We've had an on again, off again relationship ever since.

If were honest with myself that's changed now and it was never going to be the same again. Taking another swallow of my warm beer, I allowed my thoughts drift to that night. The night that I came to some realizations and everything changed.

_Flashback:_

_The crowd in the bar was growing fast. It was a very trendy, extremely popular nightspot in Trenton. It was Friday evening and business was picking up quickly. From my perch on a barstool at the bar, I watched as young couples came in the front door._

_I slammed back my shot of tequila and tried to forget my troubles._

_I wasn't supposed to be here tonight. Steph and I had a date for pizza and watching the Rangers game. At the last moment she called and cancelled. She said something had come up at work and she couldn't make it but I knew what she was doing. HE called and asked for her "help" and Steph could never refuse him. _

_I was pissed! She was blowing me off to assist Ranger, again. As the Ramos and Scrog incidents proved, she never told him no. In all honesty it wasn't a big deal, we could eat pizza any time but it was the thought of Steph tossing me aside to run to Ranger's aid that made my blood boil._

_My male pride and Italian genes got the best of me and I started screaming at her. I told her exactly what I thought of her job._

_It was no secret I didn't like her life as a bounty hunter. It was dangerous and she always seemed to be in trouble. She was constantly being shot at, her cars exploded and buildings burned down whenever she was near. I wanted her to quit, marry me, stay home and raise our kids. I wanted her safe._

_Finally unable to take no more, she interrupted me by saying, "If you can't accept me as I am, job included, than I think we have a serious problem Joe. I am NOT going to change who I am for anyone!" It was at this point that her Italian half kicked in and she slammed the phone down in my ear._

_In a rage, I put my fist through a wall. After a few minutes I finally managed to pull myself together and having no desire to sit home alone, I came out to drown my sorrows._

_As I downed another shot I saw Steph walk in. She was gorgeous tonight. She had managed to tame her wild curls and they fell in ringlets, framing her face. Her make-up was perfect, highlighting her large blue eyes. She was wearing a red, form-fitting V-neck sweater that clung to her in all the right places. A short black leather skirt and a pair of red FMP pumps accentuated her long, luscious legs._

_Steph's eyes scanned the crowd and I could tell she was looking for someone. Finally her eyes met mine and she started towards the bar._

_I could see the anger flashing in her baby blues as she asked, "What are you doing here Joe?"_

"_I could ask the same of you."_

"_I am working," replied Steph, "Just as I told you."_

_Pointedly looking her up and down, I said, "Doesn't look that way to me."_

_I could see her body tense and the anger flash across her face, before she recovered and answered, "Not that is your business but it's a distraction."_

"_Not my business!" I growled, "You're my girlfriend!"_

"_I can't do this now Joe!"_

_As she turned away I grabbed her arm and swung her around to face me, before asking, "Than when?"_

_Before Steph could answer a bartender, who I had not seen before but recognized as one of Ranger's men, interrupted, "Is there a problem miss?" I could see the muscles in his cheek tensing up._

"_No," replied Steph, as she yanked her arm from my grasp, "I was just leaving." With that she turned and walked away._

"_Keep your hands off her Morelli!" the bartender hissed at me._

"_Mind your own fucking business and bring me a beer," I snarled._

"_Steph is our business," he answered as he sat the beer down in front of me, "If you hurt her, there is no place on earth you can hide!"_

"_Whatever," I mumbled as I took a long pull of my beer and turned away from the bar._

_I started searching the crowd again. If Steph was really working, Manoso would be nearby. I may not like or trust the guy but I could admit, if only to myself, that he would not do anything to intentionally endanger Stephanie. It was all the unintentional things that seemed to happen around her that worried me. She was a magnet for trouble. If something bad were to happen at the club tonight, she'd be in the midst of it. She was the reason I was considering buying stock in Maalox. _

_I hadn't located Manoso yet but when I searched the dance floor I saw Stephanie dancing with some guy. He looked to be in his mid-thirties, around my height, six feet tall, muscular build and blonde hair. Although he was wearing a dark tailored suit something about the man screamed trouble._

_As I continued to watch them, I could see the guy's hands all over MY girlfriend. Combined that along with the way he was rubbing against Steph and it took all of my willpower not to stomp over there and make a scene. I knew Steph wouldn't want that and I'd mess up whatever it was she was working on._

_So instead I picked up my beer and drank the rest of it in one go. I slammed the mug on the bar, stood up from my barstool and made my way to the door. No way did I want to stay here and witness some other guy coming on to my girl._

_I ignored a few women who were trying to get my attention and I kept trying to make my way to the exit. Usually I liked the attention my good looks got me but tonight I wanted out of here and they just slowed me down. I NEEDED out of here._

_When I finally reached the door I saw Manoso and I believe his man, Santos, working the door as bouncers. I didn't say anything to him, just tipped my head in acknowledgement and kept walking until I reached my SUV._

_With a sigh of frustration I leaned back against my Trailblazer and covered my face with my hands. I took a couple of deep breaths trying to calm myself down but the image of that guy touching Steph was burned on to my corneas. Releasing a deep cleansing breath, I dragged my hands through my hair._

_'Why me?' I thought, as I gazed at the twinkling stars, in the night sky above._

_Why did I fall in love with a girl who wanted to be a bounty hunter? Why couldn't I fall for a nice quiet girl like my Mom wanted me too? Why me?!_

_As I contemplated everything, I heard raised voices. Looking around I saw Stephanie and the guy she had been dancing with, a short distance from the entrance of the club. He was yelling at her and threw her against a wall. It looked she hit her head and she slumped against the wall, though she managed to stay on her feet._

_Stiffening, I started making my way towards Steph. No one treated her that way and if Manoso wouldn't intervene, I would!_

_At that moment I saw Manoso pushing through the crowd that was forming around the pair. I could almost feel his rage from here; it seemed to ooze from his every pore. It was as if the crowd around him could sense it and parted like the Red Sea in front of him._

_The guy had his arm raised, prepared to backhand Stephanie when Manoso grabbed his arm, stopping him. He growled, "Touch her again and I'll kill you!"_

_Suddenly I saw a flash of silver in the guy's other hand and before I could call out a warning, in one fluid motion, the man yanked his arm from Manoso's grasp, spun around and stabbed Ranger._

_I saw Manoso falter for a split second from the impact of the knife. For just a moment I saw pain flash across his face, before it cleared of all emotion. With a quick glance at his chest, I saw blood staining his black t-shirt._

_"No Carlos!!" I heard Steph scream. She didn't cry out for 'Ranger', she used his given name. I made a mental note to ask her about it later, when we had time to talk. _

_I had pulled out my gun and was readying to take a shot at their attacker. Before I could get a clear shot, Manoso grabbed the guy's knife hand. They fought for a moment before going to the ground, still struggling over the knife._

_"Police!" I yelled pushing my way through the crowd, hoping to get a clear shot._

_The pair were still fighting over the knife. Ranger was on top and had the man's knife hand pinned to the asphalt. At that moment I saw Stephanie rush to Manoso's aid._

_"Cupcake no!" I yelled but she didn't even act like she heard me. Instead she started kicking the guy in the ribs, while screaming obscenities at him._

_Closing in, I could see Manoso's men out of the corner of my eye, rushing to the aid of their boss. I grabbed Steph around the waist and pulled her out of the way. She started struggling, kicking and screaming, trying to get away from me._

_"I've got you Cupcake," I said, attempting to calm her down but it did no good._

_A few moments later, the Rangemen had the bad guy subdued and he lay on the parking lot, cuffed and unconscious. Steph was still struggling against me, trying to free herself from my grasp._

_"Carlos!" she cried out again._

_"Let her go Morelli!" was snarled in my ear by Santos, "or you'll regret it!"_

_"Don't threaten me Santos!" I replied but I did release my hold on her, though not because he told me too. I wasn't scared of him and wouldn't be bullied. I let go of Steph because I realized I was upsetting her and making things worse._

_Once free she immediately returned to Manoso's side. He sat leaning against the building, holding his injured side. I could see the blood drip from between his fingertips._

_Steph was crying and nearly hysterical again, just like after Scrog. She fell apart that time too and well on her way again. She could be threatened, kidnapped or beaten and not have this reaction but if he was bleeding she couldn't handle it. _

_"Babe," he said, as he gently cupped Steph's face with his free hand. When he didn't get her attention he continued, "Babe look at me."_

_I saw her meet his eyes and he told her, "I am alive, I'll be fine."_

_She didn't reply, instead she threw herself at him, her arms wrapped around his neck. He pulled her closer, carefully avoiding the stab wound, as he whispered in her ear._

_I stood watching them. I couldn't hear what he was telling her but Steph seemed to gradually calm down. I was positive I wouldn't like it. It made my Italian blood boil to see her being held by another man, to see her consoled by another man._

_That was what I didn't understand, she hadn't reacted this way when Stiva ran me down and broke my leg. She was worried for me, maybe even scared for me but she hadn't fallen apart at the sight of me lying injured in the roadway. What did this say about our relationship?_

_The sound of sirens in the distance broke me from my musings. Finally I looked away from Manoso holding Steph and turned my attention to the crowd._

_"Nothing more to see here," I yelled at the crowd, "Time to move on." Some of the bystanders heeded my command but some wanted to stick around to see what would happen next. _

_A few moments later, my fellow officers in blue arrived on the scene and took control of crowd. They started questioning the spectators, attempting to locate willing witnesses. They also cleared a path for the paramedics._

_As the EMT 's approached, pushing a stretcher loaded with equipment, Steph released her hold on Manoso's neck but sat by his side and clutching his hand tightly. Her distress over his injury was obvious._

_As I dealt with the crowd, I heard Steph say something. As I glanced back in their direction, I noticed the paramedics had cut off Manoso's t-shirt and one was taping a bandage over the wound, as the other put an oxygen mask over Manoso's face. I saw the tears in Steph's eyes and I wanted to look away. I really didn't want to see her cry over him...again, but it was like driving down the road and witnessing a traffic accident. I couldn't help but rubberneck._

_"Hey Joe," I heard someone yell, "We could use some help over here." _

_"Coming," I answered. _

_As I was turning to assist the other officers, I heard Stephanie cry and whimper. A quick look and I saw Manoso run a comforting hand through Steph's curls, as he whispered to her again. Steph flinched with pain at the gesture and when he pulled his hand away I could see blood._

_'Shit!' I thought, 'I forgot she hit her head!'_

_Without even thinking about it I walked over and knelt down next to her and asked, "Are you ok Cupcake?"_

"_Babe," added Manoso, even I could here the question in his tone of voice._

"_I hit my head," she answered us both, "but I am fine."_

"_You're not fine," I argued. "Can you take a look at her?" I asked one of the EMT's._

"_We can take a look at her in a moment," answered one of the paramedics, as he placed a heart monitor pad on Manoso's chest._

"_No!" protested Steph, "They take care of Carlos. I am fine."_

_There was that name again. I tried to ignore it and persuade Steph to allow the paramedics to treat her, "Cupcake, you're bleeding, you could have a concussion, let one of them look at you."_

_Removing the oxygen mask, Ranger said, "Babe, let them take a look at you." When Steph looked like she was still going to resist he added, "Please."_

_The other EMT reached across and put the mask on Manoso's face, with a reprimand to leave it in place. Afterwards he started inserting an IV into Manoso's arm._

_Scowling at the needle, Manoso said, "Don't need that."_

_Pulling his arm away from the paramedic, he continued, "Don't want it."_

_Blowing out a breath Steph bargained, "You allow them to treat you without argument and I'll let them look at my head."_

_With a curt nod of agreement, Manoso allowed the paramedic take his arm and insert the IV and tape it down._

"_Thanks Cupcake," I whispered in Steph's ear, "I am just worried about you."_

_Before Steph could answer, someone shouted for me, "Joe, we need you over here!"_

"_Just a sec," I answered. Touching Steph's arm to get her attention, I added, "I'll try and get to the hospital later, Cupcake."_

_Although Steph answered me, "OK Joe," it bothered me that she never bothered to look away from Manoso._

_Standing up I heard the paramedic ask Santos, "Help us get him on the stretcher."_

"_Don't move Santos," I heard him order, as he started to get up. _

_The EMT pushed him back down and said, "If you move too much you run the risk of making your wound worse."_

_Glancing at Santos I could see he wasn't sure what to do; listen to the paramedic or Manoso, who could hurt him or fire him. I heard Stephanie say, "Please Ranger, listen to the paramedic." The stress of the moment was evident in her voice._

"_Damn your pride Manoso," I snarled, as I turned around to help the paramedics, making the decision for Santos, "Think about Steph."_

_At that he quit struggling to get up and allowed us to help him, though I could tell he didn't care for me touching him and that almost made it worth it. Picking up Manoso's legs, I efficiently helped the paramedics settle him on the gurney and turned to leave without a comment._

"_Thanks Joe," I heard Steph say behind me. I just nodded and kept walking. I had a lot of work in front of me if I wanted to get to the hospital. _

_A short time later I noticed Steph climb into the back of the ambulance with Manoso. The doors slammed shut. As it pulled out of the parking lot, the emergency lights were flashing and the siren was blaring. I watched for a moment as it pulled away and disappeared into the distance, taking Stephanie further away from me, in more ways than one. Shaking my head I returned to work…_

_End Flashback_

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here's the next chapter. I hope it's as good as the first. I would like to thank Kate for editing this chapter. Review and constructive critiques are always welcome. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own 'em, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I promise to return them with as little drool damage as possible.**

_**Chapter 2**_

I stood up, walked to the kitchen and opening the refrigerator, I grabbed another beer. Closing the door I leaned back against it. Twisting off the cap, I tipped up the beer and drank about half of it in one long pull. Standing in the darkness of my kitchen, my thoughts returned to that night.

Even before I left the bar, I knew something had changed in our relationship. I didn't know what yet but I couldn't keep this up. I was tired of this weird triangle thing that was going on between the three of us. I didn't want to keep sharing Steph with Manoso. It was past time it ended for good. She needed to make a choice.

Unfortunately, I had a feeling things weren't going to go how I'd like. I'd seen how he looked at her…like only she could satisfy his appetite. What was worse was the way she looked at him…with her eyes filled with passion. I couldn't help but be jealous; she never looked at me like that.

Rubbing my eyes, I took another swallow of my beer. Closing my eyes and clearing my head, I tried to keep the pain at bay. Thoughts of that night always tore me apart. I stilled ached from it. In frustration I slammed my head back against the freezer, before straightening up, walking back into the living room and dropping back on to the couch.

The worst of that evening still hadn't happened. I thought things couldn't get any worse but I was wrong…so very wrong.

_Flashback: _

_It was late or should I say early when we finally finished up at the bar. The sun was peeking over the horizon as I climbed into my SUV. I still had the paperwork for the evening's mess waiting for me at the station but I figured it could wait until I checked up on Steph._

_The hospital was closer to the precinct, so I'd look for her there first, before heading to her apartment. I figured Steph may have needed stitches to close the wound on her head but knowing her unless she was seriously hurt, I didn't think she'd still be there. She hated hospitals, with a passion and would escape as soon as possible._

_I parked my Trailblazer in the parking lot and walked into the Emergency Room. I could tell it had been a long night in the ER. A couple of haggard parents with sick young children were waiting to be seen, along with a few victims of last night's excesses. _

_As I approached the admitting desk I smiled at the nurse, hoping to charm her out of some information about Steph. She looked to be a little younger than me, with a shoulder length blonde hair and auburn brown eyes. She looked vaguely familiar but not in an 'I know you from the Burg' way. I figured I'd seen her around the hospital, which really wasn't surprising considering how much time I spent here. Between my job and Steph's accidents I sometimes felt like I spent more time at St. Francis than I did in my own home._

_She looked at a little harried, gave me a tired smile and asked, "What do you need Detective?"_

_I was so tired I almost asked how she knew I was a detective, before I realized my gun was still on my hip and my badge was hanging on a chain around my neck. Instead I asked, "Is Stephanie Plum still here?"_

"_She was treated and released."_

"_Thanks," I replied, turning to leave. Knowing Steph loathed hospitals, I wasn't surprised she wasn't here, I'd just catch up with her at her apartment._

"_I didn't say she wasn't here."_

"_What?"_

"_I only said she was treated and released, not that she left."_

"_Steph's still here?" I asked, shocked._

_Exasperated, the nurse replied, "I can see why you're a detective, you don't miss a thing."_

_Controlling my temper, I inquired, "Where is she?"_

"_Recovery room three."_

_Now I was confused but only said, "OK." _

"_Do you know where that is?"_

"_Yes, unfortunately I know exactly where that is," I replied, as I turned and headed into the hospital. _

_I wondered what Steph was still doing here. She wouldn't step foot inside a hospital without being forced and usually made her escape as quickly as possible. She'd irritated more than one doctor by leaving without being discharged. Why was she still here?_

_The only reason for her to be here was something I really didn't care to think about…she was here for Manoso. I really shouldn't be surprised. After he was shot by Scrog she didn't leave the hospital until she knew he'd pull through and when she finally did leave it was only for a few hours before she came back. She left long enough to shower and eat. When I suggested she take a nap she said she could sleep later and returned to his side._

_As I rounded the corner, I could see one of Manoso's men guarding the door. Stopping in front of him, I met his gaze and asked, "Is this your boss' room?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Is Stephanie inside?" I questioned, as we continued to stare at one another._

"_Yes."_

_I refused to be intimidated by this goon and informed him, with a glare, "I am going to go in and see her."_

"_You bother either of them and I'll toss you out of here so fast it will make your head spin."_

"_Try it," I replied, continuing to look him in the eye. I refused to be the first to look away. It was a male dominance thing and I knew it was stupid but I refused to be "eye fucked" by this guy. I heard someone make a derogatory comment about men, as we continued our staring contest. Whoever it was pushed us out of the way, effectively ending our impromptu war of wills, as they entered the room. _

"_Don't tempt me."_

_Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I silently pushed the door open. The sight that greeted me stopped me dead in my tracks. _

'_I was right,' I thought. 'Oh God, I was right.'_

_She was here for him but I had been prepared for that but not the spectacle before me. Steph was in bed with Manoso, curled up next to his uninjured side, her face buried in his neck, while she held on to him for dear life. His eyes were closed but he was gently stroking her hair as she slept next to him. The love they felt for each other was evident to anyone who looked at them._

"_Mr. Manoso," I heard the nurse say, as she checked his IV, "she shouldn't be in bed with you."_

"_I don't care," he answered as he continued to stroke her hair._

"_It's against hospital policy," the nurse began, before Manoso interrupted her._

"_I don't care. She stays or I leave."_

"_You haven't been discharged."_

"_I'll leave AMA."_

"_Ranger," I heard Steph say groggily, interrupting the argument._

"_Babe." I hated hearing him call her that._

_She lifted her heard from his neck and asked, "What's going on?"_

_I realised they hadn't notice me yet when Manoso answered, "Just the nurse."_

"_Ok." Steph just snuggled closer to his side._

"_I need to check his wound," the nurse informed Stephanie._

_With a nod of understanding, Steph started to move away from Manoso, but he grabbed her arm and stopped her, saying, "Don't leave Babe. I like to feel you lying next to me in bed."_

_Without a word she lay back down next to him and he pulled the blanket back over both of them. Unable to take anymore, I sucked in angry breath, effectively making my presence known. I stared at them while my heart broke, shattering beyond recognition, to the point I'd never be able to put it back together again. Finally I closed my eyes, took a couple quick, deep breaths and tried to make it all go away._

'_This isn't happening,' I thought. 'I'll open my eyes and it will be a mistake. Steph will be sitting in a chair next to the bed.'_

_But when I opened them the same sight haunted me. She had not moved an inch, still lying next to him in bed. We stared at one other, not knowing what to say, what could be said. At last, without a word, I turned on my heel and left._

_The action seemed to break the trance and I heard Steph call after me, "Joe!"_

_I continued down the hall without stopping. I did NOT want to talk to her right now. Maybe later, after I calmed down, I could talk to her but not now._

_I heard her chasing me down the hall and I heard her cry, "Joe, please," but I didn't break pace. _

_Finally she caught up with me and grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop. "Listen to me?" she begged._

"_Cupcake," I sneered, shaking off her hand, "I don't want to hear anything you have to say. I think it was self explanatory."_

_Turning, I stalked off down the hall and I didn't slow as she began to cry. I heard her try one last time, "Joe!"_

_Shaking my head, I just threw up my arms and continued down the hall. She had shattered my world. I needed to be as far away from her as possible. It felt like a weight settled on chest and I couldn't breath. Picking up my pace I headed towards the doors and fresh air._

_Exiting the hospital I took big gulps of polluted Jersey air but it did nothing for the pain in my chest. The pain seared through and I thought I might be having a heart attack. Walking across the parking lot, I used the remote to unlock my Trailblazer and climbed inside, shutting the door behind me. I leaned forward, resting my heard against the steering wheel and tried to rein in my raging emotions. When that didn't work I started beating my fists against the wheel, venting my frustrations._

'_How could she do this to me?' I screamed in my head. 'I thought she loved me.'_

_After a few moments I looked up and saw her standing in the emergency room door staring at me. Not wanting to be anywhere near her, I started the truck, threw it in gear and peeled out of the parking lot. I knew I'd have to talk with Steph some time but not here and not today. I just wanted to get as far from her as possible…_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks everyone! The support for this story has been tremendous.**

**Disclaimer: All the usual stuff. I don't own it and I make nothing from my efforts.**

Chapter 3

This had become my nightly routine; get some takeout, sit on the couch, watch some sporting event, but not really seeing it, while I knocked back a couple of beers. Some nights I managed to forget the pain in my heart, or more exactly, I managed to drown it in alcohol, numbing all of my pain.

Most nights though, weren't like that. Most nights I just sat here until my beer got warm thinking about where I went wrong. If I had done something differently would Stephanie still be here with me?

The Islanders game had ended long ago and some annoying informercial was blaring from the television set. I shook my head trying to clear the thoughts of my Cupcake. When that failed I finished my beer and stood. After shutting off the set, the only light that remained was what filtered in through the curtains from the street light outside. I didn't bother to turn on any lights, I didn't need any to find my way upstairs.

"Come on Bob," I told the dog lying at my feet, "lets go to bed."

I moved towards the staircase and Bob slowly got to his feet and followed me. He wasn't as energetic or as happy-go-lucky anymore. It was obvious, Bob missed Steph too.

Making a quick stop in the bathroom, I brushed my teeth before taking a leak. I flushed the toilet and headed for my bedroom. As I walked into the room I stripped off my t-shirt and threw it on the floor with the rest of the dirty clothes. I sat down on the edge of the bed to remove my boots, tossing them into a corner of the room. Yanking off my socks, I blindly threw them across the room. Undoing the fly of my pants, I let them fall to the floor, leaving me in my blue boxer briefs.

I flopped back down on the bed. Lying on my back, my head was resting on my pillow, as I pulled the covers over me. I stared at the ceiling and tried to will myself to sleep. I didn't sleep well anymore, unless I managed to drink myself into a stupor and I passed out, but I hated doing that. Most nights, I just lay here and stared at the ceiling at the ceiling until sheer exhaustion claimed my body and I drifted into a restless sleep. If I was lucky I'd snatch a few hours sleep before I had to get up and go to work.

After an hour of counting the cracks in the ceiling, willing myself not to think about Stephanie, I determined tonight was not going to be a good night. I couldn't stop thinking about her. She haunted my nights.

I got up and walked back into the bathroom. Maybe a drink of water would help, anything to take my mind off my troubles. I turned on the tap and filled the glass next to the sink with water. Turning off the water, I took my glass and returned to the bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I took a long sip and another, before sitting the he half empty cup on the night stand. With a sigh I lay back down and tried to sleep.

It didn't take long to realize I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. As soon as my head hit the pillow my thoughts returned to Steph, to the fight that ended our romantic relationship for good.

_Flashback:_

_I had hung a heavy bag in the basement of my home. It gave me a place to work off all the tension of the day without hurting myself or anyone else. It had the added benefit of keeping me from putting to many holes in my walls. _

_I had come home from a rough day at work and quickly changed into a pair of blue mesh athletic shorts and a pair of sneakers, before heading downstairs. I had managed to work up a good sweat, when I heard the front door open, which was odd since I locked the door. After a moment I heard the sounds of footsteps as someone entered my house. Then I heard Steph call out, "Joe."_

_'Shit.' I really don't want to talk to Stephanie yet. I had managed to avoid her for two weeks since "the incident," although it really wasn't all that hard. The first week she didn't even try to call me and I heard through the ever efficient Burg grapevine, that she never left Manoso's side, staying at his apartment to care for him. The second week Steph did try to call me but I refused to answer her, using my caller I.D. to screen my calls. I wasn't ready to talk to her and didn't know if I would ever be._

_And now she was here. Maybe if I pretended not to be home, she'd just leave. She didn't know about the punching bag in the basement, hopefully she wouldn't think to look down here. Grabbing hold of the bag, I stood quietly as I leaned into it and listened to Steph walking around upstairs._

_I could here her footsteps as she walked across the floor above my head. "Joe?" she called out again, as she walked closer to the basement door._

_'Damn!' I cursed to myself, as I heard her open the door. I really didn't want to do this now. Maybe never._

_"Joe?"_

_In a last ditch effort, I remained quiet hoping she wouldn't come down the stairs. I just shook my head when I heard her shoes on the steps. I should've known her natural curiosity wouldn't let her leave until she snooped down here._

_As her foot hit the basement floor, she glanced around, searching for me. I heard her sharp intake of breath when she finally found me, still holding the heavy bag._

_"Shit Joe!" Steph exclaimed, "You scared me."_

_I just shrugged my shoulder but didn't answer her. I really didn't care whether I startled her or not._

_Stephanie moved closer and continued, "Why didn't you answer me?"_

_Angry with her or not, I couldn't help but notice that she was gorgeous today. She was wearing a simple pink V-neck sweater that did nothing to hide the fact that she was not wearing a bra. It seemed to cling to her cleavage, the nipples of her breasts pressing tautly against the fabric. Her blue jeans were tight and hugged all of her luscious curves. I could feel my body betraying me, as my cock responded to the sight of her. I was thankful for the bag in front of me or my erection would have been obvious through my thin athletic shorts. I tried to think of something to quash my desire for her._

_Steph's cheeks were flushed and there was a twinkle in her eyes that I had never seen before. She seemed to glow with happiness and love. That thought was enough to reign in my rampaging urges. I didn't put that look on her face, Manoso did. She was in love with him! Feeling all of my anger rush back, I refused to acknowledge her; instead I just started punching the bag again._

_"Joe, we needed to talk about this."_

_In response I just struck the bag harder. I could feel the sweat dripping into my eyes and roll down my back but I ignored it. _

_Finally she touched my shoulder and said, "Please, Joe." _

_I tensed and pulled my shoulder out of her grasp. "Don't touch me."_

_She pulled back her hand as if she were burned. She looked at me, surprise shining in her eyes, while I glared at her. Eventually, I turned away and started hitting the heavy bag again, ignoring her. Maybe she'd get the hint and leave. _

_I should have known better. After a few moments she said, "You weren't answering my phone calls."_

_Throwing another punch, I didn't bother to look at her when I answered, "Did you think maybe I didn't want to talk to you."_

_"Yes," she replied, "But we need to talk about us."_

_"What us?" I managed to snarl, through clenched teeth._

_"We need to discuss our relationship."_

_I could feel the rage building inside me. I knew I wasn't ready to talk to Stephanie yet but she just had to force the situation, instead of leaving me alone to lick my wounds. To vent my anger, I struck the bag with a combination of punches that sent it flying. I felt satisfaction when I heard Steph suck in a startled breath. Grabbing the swinging punching bag, I steadied it, before leaning against it as I replied, "I figured any relationship between us was over when I found you in bed with Manoso."_

_"Nothing happened between us Joe."_

_I shook my head and answered, "It didn't look that way Steph."_

_Meeting my eyes, she said, "Honestly, we are just friends."_

_I couldn't help the bitter laugh before I answered, "Don't lie to me! I am not blind or stupid."_

_She flinched but stood her ground and didn't look away. "I'm not."_

_"This is the Burg, Cupcake," I spat the last word. "Do you really think I haven't heard but your encounters in the alley beside the bonds office?" _

_I saw a flash of guilt cross her face but she quickly masked it. "I can explain," she started but I cut her off._

_"How about the bakery?" I asked._

_"I..." she stuttered._

_Still leaning against the bag, I questioned, "Where did you stay during the Slayer deal?"_

_I could see the tears in her eyes but I was having a hard time finding any sympathy for her within me. "Joe, I didn't mean to," she started but I stopped her again, closing my eyes and shaking my head._

_"But you did," I accused, as tears started down her cheeks. "You may never have had sex with him," I was shocked to see the look of guilt on her face as she looked away. I felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut, knocking all the air out of my lungs. I couldn't believe it. She fucked him! _

_I turned my back on her. I couldn't stand the sight of her right now. The hurt felt like a stone was sitting on my chest and I could feel the rage building. To keep myself from doing something I'd possibly regret later, I started pounding on the heavy bag. I pictured Manoso's face as I tried to beat the stuffing out of the bag. I imagined my punches turning his smug face to a bloody pulp._

_I kept hitting the bag over and over again, trying to release all the anger and hurt I felt. I could feel Stephanie's eyes on me and occasionally I'd hear her sniffle but I didn't stop. The sweat soaked my hair and beaded on my face. I could feel the droplets roll down my back and dampen the top of my shorts but still I didn't slow down. My hands ached but still I kept on. It wasn't until I worked my self to the point of utter physical exhaustion did I slow down. Just as I felt my legs start to give out, I slammed my fist into the heavy bag one last time. I stumbled backwards until I could feel the cool concrete wall behind me and slowly slid down it, until I sat on my butt with my back against the wall. I buried my face in my hands and tried to close out the world, to make everything go away._

_After a few moments I looked up and managed to look at Stephanie. She was standing on the other side of the small basement, her arms crossed across her chest, tears staining her cheeks. "I never meant to hurt you Joe," I heard her say._

_"You did a real good job of it."_

_"I am so sorry."_

_I closed my eyes and shook my head. A few long moments passed before I could look at her again, "Do you want to know what the ironic thing is?" I asked. _

_"What?"_

_"I never cheated on you."_

_"When we apart?" she questioned._

_"Not even then," I told her. "I figured after Dickie, I'd have to earn your trust and love and if you caught me with someone else, even when we were apart, you'd never trust me again." I rubbed my eyes with my hands, "I just never realized you'd go behind my back and screw someone else." _

_"What about Terri?"_

_"I always kept my relationship with Terri completely professional," I informed her. "You were the only woman in my life."_

_"I'm sorry," I heard her whisper, as she hugged herself._

_I snorted at that. Leaning my head back against the wall, I commented, "I should have known that night."_

_Confused, Stephanie asked, "Known what?"_

_"That there was something going on between you and Manoso."_

_Looking at her I could still see the puzzlement written there. "The night Manoso was shot. I should have known something was up."_

_"Why?"_

_"You never reacted like that when I was hurt," I said, "You never fell apart."_

_Stephanie took a step towards me, as if she were going to comfort me but with one look from me she stopped and moved back to the other wall. I could see her tears to start again. "I was always terrified your work would get you hurt."_

_I shook my head and snorted again, "The only time I got hurt was when I was helping you."_

_"It wasn't my fault."_

_"It never was," I replied, "But even after Con ran me down and I was lying in the street with a broken leg, you didn't fall apart. You always kept it together." I met her eyes, "Says something about our relationship, don't it?"_

_She had no comment for that and we sat quietly for a moment. Finally I asked her, "Why?"_

_"Why what?"_

_"Why'd you tell me you loved me?"_

_"I did love you Joe," she insisted, from her place on the other side of the room, "But that night I figured out I loved Ranger too."_

_I closed my eyes until I could control my emotions. One word she said stood out. "Did Steph?" _

_She covered her mouth in shock and her tears started again. "I..." she started to explain._

_I waved her off. "I don't wanna hear it Stephanie. Just get out."_

_"Please listen," Stephanie pleaded._

_I looked up sharply, "I don't want to hear any excuses,"_

_I could hear her crying, "Joe..."_

_"No!" I shouted, "Go back to Manoso!"_

_With a sob, she turned and ran up the stairs. I leaned against the wall. After a moment I heard the front door slam shut and a few seconds later, I heard a car peel out and leave. 'Good riddance,' I thought, 'cheating whore!' _

_I sat there for what felt like hours, trying to figure what went wrong._

End Flashback

I rolled onto my stomach and buried my face in my pillow. It had been a month since that night and we still weren't talking. I was unsure if I ever wanted to talk to her again. She shattered my world and stomped it into tiny pieces. She didn't even seem to give a damn.

She's already moved on. It seemed the whole Burg had to tell me she was seeing Manoso. Like that was some big surprise.

I was left picking up the pieces, trying to put my life back together again. Ever since we were kids I figured we'd be together. I always thought she was the only one for me. I just had to wait for her to grow up. That dream was over. Dead and over.

I flopped onto back. Maybe some day I'd actually sleep without dreaming of her...someday...but it wouldn't be tonight.

TBC


End file.
